I don’t know how to heal or trust anymore

Everyday I hoped for a better day but it didn’t seem to come through. I struggled with loving myself ever since I was in Primary 5, I started self-harm in Primary 5 too. I faced trauma when I was 2 as my mother left me which left my heart broken. Because of that, I became disobedient and caused trouble for my family. It’s not easy walking in this journey knowing that mental health isn’t cared for. I told people that cared but slowly to me it seemed like they didn’t. I was clean from self harm for a year or so but recently it came back. Seeing the cuts in my arm reminded me of why I cut and the pain I’m going through. I don’t know how to heal or trust anymore because people in my life are just breaking me apart.