I don’t know what to say

Everyday I wake up in despair and dread. After the anxiety wears off, the deep sadness takes place. I struggle to function and smile. I struggle to feel appreciative and happy. It feels a lot like standing on the shore where sometimes the waves bowl you over, but sometimes retreat before they touch your feet. 

I haven’t told anyone because I don’t know what to say, I don’t have the words. I struggle to know how to care for my heart and how to love and laugh even though I am so weighed down and sad and scared all the time. I know I’m in a long and very dark tunnel and it will surely end at some point. I just have to keep trying.