I will get better

It’s so unfair. I have always been a hardworking student who strives to do my best to receive recognition from my family. My friends were envious of me because my parents dote on me, I have good grades and I’m outgoing but, they don’t notice what I’m going through. 

JC life wasn’t smooth sailing. I push myself to the limit, I interact less and I kept everything to myself. At the start of the year, I became depressed and suicidal. I cried myself to sleep every night, thinking about how I should be selfish for once and put myself before others. I did not tell my friends about my condition until 5 months back, when it was too late for me to get back on track. 

My results dropped, my parents found out about my condition from the school counsellor and they felt like it was just an excuse for me to slack off. I fought with my friends when they found out I self harmed. However, all of it took a turn for the better after mid-years, I failed my mid-years with an all time low. I hated myself for allowing such a thing to happen. So I sought help from my closest friend, struggled through and saw improvement in my preliminary results. I told myself I would try my best for A-levels. As A-levels is ending and I know my results will be below expectations, I know that I can always try again next year. 

I might cry, I might feel hopeless and I might hate myself, but I know that as long as I don’t stop trying, I will get better.