Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

Your pain is valid and it is real

I was raped by my ex-boyfriend in Secondary 4 and had to proceed with a secret abortion at 3 months (with zero knowledge from parents) because I got pregnant soon…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

This is how toxic the human mind can be

My story is just like the rest. I wake up every morning dreading to go to school but school is compulsory so I go anyway. When I’m there I have…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

It’s not as easy as you think it is

I am currently 18 turning 19 and I'm going through Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) to treat my Major Depressive Disorder and Severe Anxiety Disorder. I'm really scared and if there's anyone…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

There are other people out there who care for me

After my Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) in 2015, my mother had a seizure when I was alone at home with her. Everything went downhill for me because that’s when…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I’ve chosen to acknowledge my anxiety, my fears, my anger.

I’ve always had a pessimistic outlook in life ever since I was a teen due to my family circumstances. My father was plagued by various addictions and depression followed him…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

Asking for help is completely okay

I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for over 5 years now. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 13 because my parents didn’t believe in going to see someone for…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I want to live even if it’s so painful

Break ups can be painful, had been painful. Especially for a person like me who grew so attached to someone else that I wasn’t even yet married to and saw…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I don’t know how to heal or trust anymore

Everyday I hoped for a better day but it didn’t seem to come through. I struggled with loving myself ever since I was in Primary 5, I started self-harm in…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I desperately wanted to live

When I was 15 years old, I had my first panic attack in class. I was sent to see the school counsellor and had to meet her for counselling at…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

It’s been 2 years, and I’m still on the road to recovery

1 year passed and I still didn’t know what was wrong with me. I carried this burden on my shoulder, cried myself to sleep every night, thinking “why am I…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

“Not trying hard enough”

I'm thinking of reaching out for help for the 6th/7th time now out of desperation. Helping professionals sometimes view me as "resistant". Perhaps it's because I'm not extremely open during…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I crashed so badly

I was a national athlete and I guess you can say that I am a coward after reading this. Just last year, our team clinched a spot at the 2nd…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

A little kindness and understanding goes a long way

I have been having anxiety since I was a child but I only realised what it was when I was older. I always thought I was just a child that…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

I know I’m not the only one. You’re trying too

On the outside I’m not supposed to be broken but on the inside I’m constantly trying to hold everything together every day. I’m still trying every day. My fondest and…
Personal Stories
December 4, 2020

Everyone else thinks it’s easy

I was diagnosed with clinical depression and up till today I’m still fighting against depression. Everyday is a struggle, fighting against my life and to end this pain. I wish…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2020

Do I have anyone that needs me?

I wonder if I'm needed or am I just existing. There's just this thought that comes into my head when I look at happy families, groups of friends laughing and…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2020

No one will miss me

My mother left me when I was 2, which caused a big gap in my life. My childhood wasn’t perfect nor great. Because of the gap, I became a troubled…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2020

My parents are against me seeking professional help

I was diagnosed with ADHD but not with severe depression and social anxiety because my parents did not allow for that diagnosis. They said it would affect my career in…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2020

They just see me as a lazy person

When you feel that you've contributed a lot at work — only for people to tell you that you're not good enough — you'll be both physically and mentally drained.…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2020

I’m so glad I didn’t go through with my attempts

I was 16, fresh out of secondary school, when I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and dysthymia. I was bullied by my seniors and people whom I used…
Personal Stories
September 25, 2020

I’m asking for respect

I've spoken to my teachers and my school counsellor before, and I've vented to my friends about my mother specifically. She's the one person in my life whom I just…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

The way I walk is different

When I was born, my leg got stuck in my head, it was some unnatural birth problem and they had to cut off a bit of the skin to detach…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Caregiving is a noble task

Unlike the many girls whom I dated, Doris Lau, my late wife was very down-to-earth. I found her to be sincere and caring. This was the woman who would change…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I will never love myself

I was insecure about my appearance from a very young age. I started to dislike how I looked and wanted to lose weight since I was in primary school and…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I just want to end my life now

I took my Primary School Leaving Examination at the age of 12. When the results came back all I saw was failure. Everyone else was doing better. I still got…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Fight with me

At 17, I've recently started getting help again at The Institute of Mental Health although I started having suicidal thoughts since I was 12. I've always felt left out because…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Please hold on

At the age of 12, I was so suicidal because of my family and class situation. Then at the age of 15 I finally got help at the Institute of…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Never give up

I have been suffering from Severe Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder and Trichotillomania since I was 11 years old. I envy my friends when they are able to tie their hair…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I feel like I’m suffocating

I have been feeling down for some time. I never thought I would end up this way. I was a nursing student, I loved what I was doing. I learnt…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

The mental torture did not stop

I was diagnosed with psychotic depression in September 2012 due to the stress from a study bond that I signed back in 2009 with WDA. This bond was meant to…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I attempted suicide

I started experiencing depressive moods in October of 2018. It has been non-stop ever since. Some people think depression is a feeling of constant sadness, but for me it has…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Caregivers are just as important

“One more day, just one more day!” - is what I tell myself when I’m ready to give up and want to take my life. ”Lord, please STOP the pain",…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I feel extremely alone

For the longest time, I’ve had a feeling of being empty. My mum told me that I once told her that I didn't know how to be happy, that I…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I’ve had to wear a mask

In the past I’ve had to wear a mask when I talk to people. Meaning I’ve had to say the opposite of what I’ve felt instead of how I really…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I nearly lost hope

My life was literally an act - pretending every single day that all was well and good. In the past, I decided that only me, myself and I would know…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I try to fight every single day

Since I was young I’ve had pains and aches, which turned into periods of crying and extreme worrying. At 21, I was admitted to A&E after several consecutive panic attacks,…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Don’t feel ashamed

To all those who are struggling with any form of mental illness, you are not alone. There is someone out there that cares for you. As someone who has depression,…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I wish I had more guidance

I’ll be honest, it’s been a long struggle with persistent depressive disorder (PDD). I was diagnosed with PDD 2+ years ago and I thought seeking help would mean immediately getting…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Why can’t I control my emotions?

For the past three years, I've been suffering from depression and anxiety. What started out as simply academic stress became countless nervous breakdowns and panic attacks. It feels like a…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I was molested by my younger brother

I was molested by my younger brother in my sleep when I was in secondary school. I can’t be sure how many times it happened. Whenever it happened, all I…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I don’t know what to say

Everyday I wake up in despair and dread. After the anxiety wears off, the deep sadness takes place. I struggle to function and smile. I struggle to feel appreciative and…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

I learnt how to be vulnerable

In my secondary school days, I struggled with low self esteem. I would always beat myself up over my perceived failures; in hindsight, it was an impossible drive for perfection.…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

This feeling was all-consuming and terrifying

I've been struggling with my mental health since I was around 13 years old. I wrote off the newfound anxiety, loss of interest, and lower energy levels, as a teenage…
Personal Stories
October 12, 2019

Don’t stop trying

I suffered from insomnia and depression for the past 6 months when I was studying overseas. I remember being in emotional turmoil first, troubled by my own thoughts and worries…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I just hope to see the rainbow

I'm at a point in my life where I feel like the world is just going against me. I feel like I have no control over what is happening and…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I question my self worth

They say depression can be cured. But I doubt so. I grew up feeling suicidal all the time. Every small little thing that happened, be it to me or others,…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I am now passing the help on

I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety at 17. With medication, a counsellor and a caring psychiatrist, I am now passing the help and hope on in my…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I got admitted when I was 12

When I was 10, I got diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, one of the most common mental illnesses. I didn't - or couldn't - find a reason to live, get…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

Stay, you are needed

I was recently diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety and OCD. I am still learning to slowly accept my diagnosis because when the doctor said I have these illnesses, it was…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

It takes a village

They say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to overcome depression.    To all my ex-bosses, kind colleagues, family, friends, counsellors and random…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I feel like I’ve been in a never-ending fall

I've been feeling myself slipping away again.   I first felt it in 2012. I felt my mind turning dark for no reason while my best friend was talking to…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I felt so pathetic and immature

You would think that life is unbiased. You would think that life is fair. Yet, everything crumbled when I found out that one of my closest friends was diagnosed with…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

It isn’t my fault

The past two years of my life have been really hard for me. I've been struggling with social anxiety since I’ve entered secondary school. Things haven’t gotten easier because I…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I’ve been struggling to find the light

I’ve suffered from anxiety attacks, depression and an eating disorder for around 6 years now.  I wished people understand me a little more instead of shutting me down with the…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I feel like I’m a bomb

I wish I could express my struggles to my family. As a trans male with anorexia, OCD and mild anxiety, I tried really hard to distract myself from all those…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

You are worthy of love

I had a rocky childhood: My father was abusive and unfaithful, and my parents divorced when I was 9. My mother never fully recovered from that trauma. I grew up…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I feel alone

I struggle with self esteem issues and irrational fear on a daily basis. It consumes my mind and stresses me out every time. No one knows how much it has…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

You can regain your life

I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) while I was undergoing divorce with my narcissistic, addicted husband, suffering from depression.    We were married for 2 years, but it…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I feel so alone in this battle

I tried to kill myself just about a year ago. I never intended to make it to my 19th birthday but I did and until now I still ask myself,…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

There are, thankfully, good days too

Everything on a bad day feels like a first draft of an unwritten story. There’s a sense of being too heavy, a sense that the action of rising will require…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

I’m going to seek help

I was so desperate. I thought I found a confidant. We once said we would tell each other if there was anything bothering us. I was going through parental, marriage…
Personal Stories
October 10, 2019

No one has to go through it alone

One day after my 18th birthday, I started self-harming. It started small, using pens or needles to slash my wrists. It hurt, and I wanted to stop, but I also…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

Recovery is possible

I have a twin sister. I guess it’s normal for siblings to be compared to one-another, but being genetically identical to another person means people find the comparisons even more…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

I’m grateful for every day I live

I just want to start by saying: To students who struggle with mental issues, I believe that keeping a gratitude journal, documenting every happy thought/action done to or from you…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

Every day is a new battle and victory

I cannot be too sure how it began but it feels like it has been a long time. It might have begun when I was 12 and felt the full…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

It is very treatable

Surfing the web in Singapore, where I emigrated with my family from the UK ten years ago, I never imagined I would come across a video of my primary school.…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

The loneliness is grappling

Girls are toxic, well some at least, I try to fit in but they just shut me out. They pretend that I am not there and I pretend that I…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

I was abused by my father

I was abused by my father when I was younger; it lasted until I was 16. Although I came clean about it to my parents 3 years ago, they expect…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

It still hurts me so deeply inside

Recently I went to visit a Chinese Medicine doctor to see if she could help me with conceiving. She came highly recommended by a friend who successfully and easily conceived…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

Keep fighting for yourself

I grew up without a dad during my early childhood. I often thought to myself that I could never make a mistake and when I did I would “punish” myself…
Personal Stories
July 4, 2019

I will get better

It’s so unfair. I have always been a hardworking student who strives to do my best to receive recognition from my family. My friends were envious of me because my…
Personal Stories
March 29, 2019

Keep fighting

“What if there is a tumour growing in my brain?” “What if someone comes into my house and murders my family?” “Do my friends genuinely care about me or are…
Personal Stories
February 14, 2019

I’m fighting it all the time

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety around 2 years ago. But truthfully I probably have been struggling with it for about 8 years now. Growing up, I used to…
Personal Stories
February 12, 2019

I feel like I’m slowly drowning

Crying. Seems like a normal way a person would react when they're too upset, not in the best mood or feeling super stressed out. Well, there's millions of reason why…
Personal Stories
February 9, 2019

I don’t know how long I can last

I first started having thoughts of depression when I was 13. I might be young, too young to even have it, but the dark thoughts that haunt me everyday are…
Personal Stories
February 7, 2019

The hardest part was self-stigma

The first time psychosis happened to me was in 2013. I was a graduate student then, back in Singapore for a short holiday. I was quiet and withdrawn. But no…
Personal Stories
February 4, 2019

Tomorrow is worth fighting for

I was 21. I didn't feel 21 though. I felt like someone past a hundred, living out the years that I didn't deserve because somewhere, somehow, I was wondering why…
Personal Stories
January 29, 2019

Trust your instincts

Ever since primary school I have had the thoughts of ending my life, because my parents fight every single day and I just felt like nobody was interested to listen…
Personal Stories
January 27, 2019

I don’t think they’d care

Sometimes I feel like I am not worthy to share my experiences with others because people go through their own challenges, but it gets hard when people pour themselves to…
Personal Stories
January 25, 2019

Every day is a struggle

Every day is a struggle. I was diagnosed with depression a year ago, and every day has been a struggle since then. Waking up is difficult. Trying to be a…
Personal Stories
January 23, 2019

I’m a burden afterall, right?

I’ve always been pressured to get good grades. Multiple tuition teachers have hurled insults like “stupid” & “useless” at me countless of times, with a tuition teacher throwing a pile…
Personal Stories
January 21, 2019

I knew I needed help

It all began when puberty struck me and sensitivity crept into my life. In Primary school, my sensitivity got a hold of me and I started to break down almost…
Personal Stories
January 20, 2019

I was severely bullied

Since the age of 12, I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I was severely bullied in Primary 6 but now I'm still recovering. I feel like a jar,…
Personal Stories
January 16, 2019

It makes us feel like animals

Being diagnosed with a mental disorder is never easy to accept, but being stigmatized after your friends and colleagues get to know you're "crazy" is even worse. It hurts everytime…
Personal Stories
January 14, 2019

I feel like jumping down the school building

To my secondary counsellor who took my thoughts seriously. Thank you. Thank you for taking it seriously enough to call down professionals from the Institute of Mental Health to assess…
Personal Stories
January 11, 2019

We should not ignore or avoid

I don't have any mental health problems but the lowest I have felt was when a loved one passed away and I was grieving for a few years. This was…
Personal Stories
January 10, 2019

Healing is not linear

Mental struggle is real Having witnessed a friend’s mum commit suicide at the age of eleven and two uncles who lost their lives to suicide, one in Institute of Mental…
Personal Stories
January 9, 2019

The only way is up

I’ve been suffering from Bipolar Disorder since I was 11. Misdiagnosed as having clinical depression at 17, my mother discouraged me from taking antidepressants as she thought it was against…
Personal Stories
January 3, 2019

Community is important

I believe that your mental health has a lot to do with the community of people around you. I developed an eating disorder at 11 years old, a year after…
Personal Stories
January 2, 2019

Nobody knows I am a shipwreck

When I was 17, I was raped and I never told a single soul about it. I thought by ignoring it, I would somehow move on and get over it.…
Personal Stories
December 30, 2018

I felt alone even though my loved ones were just a call away

I was embarrassed to tell people about my self doubt and insecurity. Almost everyday, I would scroll through social media and look at girls to see how pretty they look…
Personal Stories
December 24, 2018

Christmas Was Not Always Merry For Me

Christmas was not always merry for me. 8 years with eating disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and borderline personality disorder, Christmas was an awkward, depressing and lonely time to me. I…
Personal Stories
December 19, 2018

It’s difficult to explain

I used to have severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). There is a huge misconception that OCD is all about making sure that everything is squeaky clean. This is not true.…
Personal Stories
December 16, 2018

Not everyone is kind

I still keep my old expired antidepressants in my drawer as a reminder to stay where the light is. I was 14 when I was diagnosed with clinical depression and…
Personal Stories
December 13, 2018

Healing Takes Time

Word of advice, if you’re suffering because of your mental health, please get help. I started showing signs of clinical depression and anxiety at the age of 13, I had…
Personal Stories
December 6, 2018

Things never got easier, I just got stronger.

I’ve been struggling with self- harm for 9 years. I don’t even know if I am or was ever depressed. Because I never could afford the money to see a…
Personal Stories
December 2, 2018

Thankfully I found a way to seek help without my parents consent

When I was 10, I started hating going to school and would pretend that I was sick so my parents would bring me back home and I didn’t have to…
Personal Stories
November 29, 2018

I was afraid of telling others

I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for over a year. Throughout the year, I was afraid of telling others about my condition as I am aware of how…
Personal Stories
November 24, 2018

Good things come to those who wait

I was 15 and suicidal. Depression had taken away my ability to communicate and anxiety had gotten the best of me. I hadn’t been able to go to school for…
Personal Stories
November 22, 2018

Mental health should not be taken lightly

I was gossiped about. People hated me. Others threatened me on social media; my own friends started leaving me. That was the point where my life just dipped to its…
Personal Stories
November 20, 2018

I had unfulfilled dreams to pursue

I attempted suicide due to the stress that I experienced when I was in junior college. That was my breaking point from bottling up my emotional struggle that I've had…
Personal Stories
November 17, 2018

This illness has affected my whole life

I was recently diagnosed with a mental illness called Cyclothymia. Cyclothymia is a rare mental illness which affects only 1% of the population. It is when one experiences a period…
Personal Stories
November 13, 2018

I fell back into depression

I was like you many years ago when I was trying to survive through university. I was bent on getting no less than first class honours, determined that it would…
Personal Stories
November 10, 2018

New lease of life

As I lay in bed today, I can't thank God enough for giving me the strength and the will to pull through what I thought I couldn't. First and foremost,…
Personal Stories
November 6, 2018

I feel so helpless

My girlfriend is having a relapse. She has paranoid schizophrenia. Being gay, our asian parents do not recognize the fact that we are together. It’s really tough especially when they…
Personal Stories
November 3, 2018

It’s an ongoing battle

When I was 11, my parents started to quarrel a lot, they were heading towards a divorce. My father blamed the church for taking my mum away from the family.…
Personal Stories
October 30, 2018

I don’t like who I am

Raising up my hand to answer questions in school was always scary for me. Terrifying, even. I thought I was just shy, and so did everyone else. I’m 18 now,…
Personal Stories
October 27, 2018

I’m in one of my darkest moments

Mental health is something that on first thought people don’t think too much about. But mental wellness, that’s something that is relevant to everyone. As for me, my mental health…
Personal Stories
October 23, 2018

I’m still afraid to seek proper help

When I was really down at age 15, I didn't know what to do and who to turn to. I soon resorted to self-harm. Others may see it as suicide…
Personal Stories
October 20, 2018

My parents are still in denial

Since I was young, I've always been an escapist. I would always close my eyes and sleep so that I would lucid dream. In those dreams I would abuse and…
Personal Stories
October 16, 2018

I struggled with self-confidence

When I was growing up (and even now) I struggled with self-confidence. I was never the pretty one nor the smart one in my circle of friends - I was…
Personal Stories
October 13, 2018

I lost sight

In the dark abyss, I kept falling. There was no life line. I was drowning. I always thought suicidal thoughts were normal; they would drown me day and night. Tears…
Personal Stories
October 7, 2018

My beautiful Mum ended her life

Words are hard to write, and hard to say. They’re hard because 14 years ago (that’s half of my life) my best friend, my beautiful Mum, ended her life. I…
Personal Stories
October 4, 2018

My first encounter

My first encounter with self harm was in primary school. Since then, cutting had been the only way for me to deal with stress. I tried drinking and smoking, but…
Personal Stories
September 30, 2018

My wish for new mums

I was diagnosed late with postpartum anxiety and depression because no one knew how to help me.After the initial elation of an almost perfect delivery, everything went downhill. I couldn't…
Personal Stories
September 27, 2018

Since the age of 11

Since the age of 11, I've attempted suicide countless times. What were the reasons? What caused me to be this way? I don't know either. My family think I'm crazy;…
Personal Stories
September 23, 2018

We are human too

Ever since I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), I feel that I have not been treated like a human being. I feel like…
Personal Stories
September 19, 2018

I was crumbling and buckling

Earlier this year, I was hit hard with the realisation that I would have to do my O-levels this year. I had taken a break year last year due to…
Personal Stories
September 15, 2018

Everything was in turmoil

Back in 2015, I was diagnosed with depression by a family doctor. Believe me, I was in disbelief.As mental health was shunned upon, I remained silent about it.I partially believed…
SMHFF-Personal-Stories-04Personal Stories
September 12, 2018

More than a diagnosis

I was 18 when I finally clued in that something was wrong. My hands had forgotten how to be hands - instead they shook. I couldn’t breathe, often I ran…